i don't usually write my dreams down when i wake up, but i kinda still remember what happened
also, i might add the other dreams i've told you about as soon as i remember them-
08132021 - (this one doesn't have a happy ending) we were in a huge school building, i think it was on a college campus. we were following this stream of people going out towards an exit that lead outside; the hallways were really long and winding, but the chatter was loud and sunshine illuminated everything somehow.
when we were in sight of the exit, we saw it opened up to one of those stilt things they have next to buildings still in development; the stairs on those stilts lead those people to a huge stadium entrance about 3 stories up (we were on the 2nd floor),
where i think your graduation ceremony was taking place. i was gripping your hand really tightly because i didn't want to lose you in the crowd; we were pressed up against each other. but, it was obviously after covid, since i could see your face.
we were about to step out of the exit when i needed to go to the bathroom. i told you to go ahead, hesitated, then let go of your hand. i broke off from the crowd and went down a hallway to our right and pushed the door open to the bathroom.
weirdly enough, i just stood in a stall for a few minutes, but i don't remember what i was thinking about. i heard other people entering the bathroom, so i went out of the stall.
i was washing my hands, minding my own business until the ladies that came in told me, "you don't belong here." i looked at them and told them i was with you.
that's when they grabbed my arms and dragged me out of the bathroom. i was fighting them, saying let me go, but they dragged me further down the hallway; the hallway grew more decrepit and dark the further i was forced down it. that's when i broke free and ran towards the exit.
it was bright outside, but when my eyes adjusted, i was on the ground level facing a parking lot- no stadium, no people, you were gone. i walked around the parking lot in a daze; it felt like a lot of time has passed, and the sun was on the horizon.
i did find you, sitting under a tree near a corner of the parking lot, but you were older, with grey hairs and wrinkles, and you didn't recognize me. i tried reaching for you but you pushed me away, yelling that i was a stranger.
different people held me back this time- burly guys with dark clothes on. i was numb and crying as other people took you back into the building.
that's where the dream ended.
09012022 - your insta was public, and your third post was of you hanging out with some girls and your gf when i left. in real life, i saw those girls from the post, they gave me food at a grocery shop.
then the girls said you were gonna marry the gf because you knocked her up at 18. the girls complained that you and her broke up already before, they talked about how bad the relationship was between the two of you. but, you and the girl got back together. the girls were saying how stupid the whole situation was.
you kept the chat me and you had, and you wrote "i miss you"
????2022 - i had a dream about your grandma dying or something, and i met her and spent her last few moments with her.
she was telling us how she was friends with a known activist.
for some reason, we were talking in my old childhood apartment in new jersey.
my left arm was cut up for some reason. i cut a word or two into my right wrist.
you were ignoring me
07082022 - i dreamed of you. you had some sort of scrapbook with my poems.
you talked about the other girl, but you said she couldn't compare. her poems weren't like mine. we held hands immediately. there were other people in the car with us as we were driving somewhere. we were holding hands, and play-fighting with our feet.
when we got to our destination, you followed me to my room, and i laid my head in your lap.
your phone wasn't buzzing.
i changed clothes in front of you, and you were looking, but you didn't touch me.
your hand felt big in mine.